Tuesday, January 2, 2007

Liz Gets Real in 07

Happy New Year to everyone. Now that it's over I can tell you what I did. I spent it with one of my dearest friends in the world. You know her as tthe Queen of England. I know her as LIz. We had a wonderful time hacking about the bush at Balmoral with the corgi's or sitting around a roaring fire with mulled wine sharing stories about Margaret. Last night, New Years, Liz got a little into her flagons and became very serious. I thought I would share her story with you. This is what she said in her own words.

Liz's Story

Recently,while accidentally on purpose monitoring my family's telephone conversations,I overheard my son Edward talking to a gentleman friend in New York about barebacking. I was completely staggered,as you could imagine. Riding a horse without a saddle is terribly dangerous. The steed could come to a sudden halt and before one can say Christopher Robin,there's another Christopher Reeves. Or is it Reeve. I never know. Edward's friend spoke about some sort of circuit where everyone goes au naturale, and barebacks,apparently. I don't know what circuit he's referring to but Ascot's certainly not on it. The English are not meant to be nude in large groups, which is why the Holocaust for us would have been not only horrific but embarrassing as well. There's nothing wrong with thinking about barebacking. I think about it all the time. I think about having people killed, too. Certain members of the press. Elton John. Diana, again. But we don't, because I can't have any fun. It's the law. I'm not even allowed to ride a horse like a regular person. We must ride side-saddle. It takes away all the enjoyment of riding for a woman. We're afraid the only position a Queen may straddle is a political one.

Heaven knows, it's been a difficult year what with that horrible Queen movie with that dreadful Helen Mirren creature desparately trying to humanize me. No I didn't cry on camera when the D word died. So cut off my head. I won't be the first relation to suffer that fate. Maybe I didn’t cry but I did look sad. I addressed you in a sweater. I refrained from using the B word. Buddy you know I've changed. I came about on the love that dared not speak it’s name and gave a Knighthood to Ian Mckellen, even though he wanted to be Dame. But this barebacking thing has got me all in a dither. It's just so unnecessary.

I admit that I used to bareback all the time when I was a young girl but that was before we knew the dangers. Nanny would wake me in the dead of night and we'd sneak out to the stables,me in my bare feet and Nanny in her wellies. I'd always ride Daedalus, a huge black stallion with the bloodlines of a champion. We'd ride till dawn and then I'd put him away wet. I still think of Daedelus late at night when I'm alone in my big bed with no one around but the Corgis. I think about riding him bareback over the moors wearing nothing but a tiara and we think and we think until we fall asleep.

And with that she did just that. I covered her up with an armful of corgi's then wrapped myself in an ermine cape and fell asleep on the floor with my head on a snoozing bloodhound. Goodnight. Sweet Dreams. Buddy and Liz

16 comments:

Anonymous said...

Your majesty!!!! Those are some large boobies!!!!! All hail the queen!!!!

buddy cole said...

I'll tell Liz you appreciated her decolletage. It means a lot to a woman in her eighties.

Lana said...

Have you considered taking these hilarious blogs over to My Space?
Not only would more people be able to read them but you could also pick up a whole new generation of stalkers.

buddy cole said...

It's true a person can never have too many stalkers and the present situation of three is not acceptable. How pray tell would one, if one was so inclined, move their blog over to My Space. I await your reply on slippered feet. Buddy Cole.

Lana said...

Just head over to www.myspace.com
and sign up for an account. It's free and easy. Then you can set up your profile and start posting blogs. There's a 'Kids In The Hall' group that I belong to on there. If you want I can let people know about it. I can also spread the word over at IMDB. Just let me know when you sign up (if you choose to).

Anonymous said...

I told you Mr.Buddy!!!!! Myspace.com is fab for "blogging" and even you can check that site they have on one of your alter egos there too!!!! Actually it's "Torontonio" here but have forgotten my "blog password" so can only send you "anonymous blogs".....But you are familiar with those I assume!!!!

buddy cole said...

Would I be able to import the entire blog as it is or would I have to start over?

buddy cole said...

Pursuant to our conversation about MySpace, I just went over to sign up and I noticed a sign in the foyer saying that they didn't allow nudity, violence or offensive material, three things which I've already done. Actually there hasn't been any nudity yet but there will be and some of it wil be me. Advise! Buddy.

Lana said...

Buddy asked....

"Would I be able to import the entire blog as it is or would I have to start over?"

You would have to copy and paste each blog. Your profile will show 5 blogs. As you add new ones the older ones will drop down but the people on your friends list will still have access to them.

I hope that made sense. I've had some wine.


Buddy also asked......

"Pursuant to our conversation about MySpace, I just went over to sign up and I noticed a sign in the foyer saying that they didn't allow nudity, violence or offensive material, three things which I've already done. Actually there hasn't been any nudity yet but there will be and some of it wil be me. Advise! Buddy."


You really don't need to worry about that. They aren't that crazy about nudity. I see 14 year old girls posing in their underwear on there A LOT.

One thing they do not like is violence. Not written word violence but visual. They are strict assholes about that. There are these people known as the My Space police who will take down any violent or bloody pictures that you have on your page. I had created a horror group that was going strong for awhile but eventually it got deleted because the profile picture was a depiction of Camille Keaton hacking off a man's dick.

Once again they ONLY care about pictures, not written words.

Suggestion: If you are going to post nudity of you (which would be wonderful) or of anyone else in your blogs, you can just set the blogs to be seen by "friends only".

It's that simple.

So let me know what you decide. Once you join I can add you as a friend and walk you through it.

Anonymous said...

Mr.Buddy! I added you ages ago!!!! Will add you again!

buddy cole said...

Dear Anonymous, yes and thank you for that. I was there last night but the truth is, I find MySpace a little noisy. I love how connected everyone is to each other but when you have 35,OOO friends, I get a little dizzy. Is there not some way to just connect this blog to the right spaces and let them come to me? That just seems more dignified. (That was Liz's interjection) I think I'll do a blog for my alter ego Scott and he can use it as a way to boost his bloody 'career' with some sort of scheduling posting blah blah blah and let me stay here and do my blah blah blah. As well, I love the look I 've got going aind Blogger.com is easier plus I don't have trouble with posting my pictures. This is to Lana as well. Am I in some sort of loser blogger land because frankly I just don't know. Yours in Newbieness, Buddy Cole.

Lana said...

Buddy asked...

"Am I in some sort of loser blogger land because frankly I just don't know."

I'll be honest, I don't know either.
I spend most of my internet time on My Space so I'm not really sure where the other "right places' are. The only reason I came over here is because I heard you were writing blogs.

I can understand your apprehension of My Space. On the upside you would receive scores of blog comments. On the downside you would also receive an overwhelming amount of messages everyday that no human being could possibly have enough free time to respond to. This in turn would cause people to spread rumors about how you are a mean person because you didn't write them back and that would indeed suck.

I am just happy to read your blogs no matter where they are located. If you stay here that's cool but if you should decide to go somewhere else please let us know where it is.

Also if you do create a blog for your alter ego Scott, could you post up a link for that?

On a side note, I posted up my first blog on here tonight if you or anonymous wants to check it out. It is a brief account of the film I am currently working on. Here is the link.........

http://lana-myfirstfilm.blogspot.com/

buddy cole said...

Thank you lana for the quick feedback. I'm going to stay here for now. I would love it if you 'spread the word' at IMDB. Just don't spread anything else. I take that back. Spread what you like. By the way, how did you find out I was blogging?

Lana said...

Cool! Tomorrow I will see if my friend can make a clickable link for me (that will take people right to your blogs) and then I will post it up.

I found out about your blogs on a 'Kids In The Hall' group that I belong to on My Space. Here is the link if your want to check it out...

http://groups.myspace.com/kith

buddy cole said...

Thank you lana. By the way I couldn't get to your site. Anonymous, I've been following your myspace friends and there are sure some cuties I'd love to invite over. Give my best to the S.O.B.

Lana said...

That's okay,thank you for trying though! :)