Saturday, February 10, 2007

Buddy and Roble

Today was the day that I promised to take Fagette to City Hall to see the Portuguese boy fight for the rights of his people to play chess outdoors at a stone table. Keeping in mind Marco’s wise words of tough love at breakfast the other morning I decided we should go shopping first. It was important that we displayed the correct look for such an august occasion. This was her first introduction to democracy in the purest sense. I’m still not sure it works but I’m willing to put it to a vote.
Shopping for Fagette was impossible. It’s easier to buy uranium for Iran. All she wanted was one more pants/dress outfit exactly like the one she’s wearing in the picture but in a different colour, she didn’t care what. I didn’t know how to respond to that. How can you be vague about colour? It’s like not caring if you live or die. I care so much I bought a sensational pair of orange Capri pants, these boxy patent leather shoes with Cuban heels the exact colour as the Pope's Mahnolo Blahniks and a flaming pink nubbly top from Garganzo. Take that death! Plus I just had to. It gave the child such joy. On the way to City Hall in our sharp new outfits, well hers just looked like she’d done her laundry, we got a ride from an incredibly sexy cab driver called Roble Shabirrap, originally from Somalia and presently from my dreams. He used to be a film maker in his country before it descended into anarchy. As I looked into his dark bedroom eyes reflected in his rearview mirror I knew that if I got within a foot of him I would descend there myself. He said he was quite big in the Horn of Africa, that he made a movie about a camel that cried that was seen all over the Horn. Said the word horn about eight times. Kept repeating it like Tom Green. He was dressed in the loose white pants and the long white shirt with socks and sandals combo I like so much and I mentioned to him how much I liked his look. He said he was only wearing his djullaba, that’s what he called it, because it was laundry day and that was all he had to wear. I couldn’t tell if he was joking or not he was so dry. He complimented Fagette on her unique way of dressing and pointed out that it was a variation of what he wore, a long shirt/dress over pants. She beamed as her dangerous idiosyncrasy was validated and my heart sank as I knew I’d lost her to the world of common sense. Then he told her that her name meant ‘precious flower’ in his native language and I thought she was going to die. I thought I was going to be sick I was so turned on. He’s probably married. That type always is. I sure wish I got his number. Probably has a little daughter himself. The bastard. …


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15 comments:

Lana said...

Great blog, Buddy!

I would write more but I just had 4 Vodka Red Bulls and 2 Margaritas so I am getting ready to pass out.

Kim said...

Hi Buddy.. I saw Scott on Tom Green's show and he mentioned something about you getting your own web-o-vision show going once hair and makeup can be coordinated. I really hope this is true. And I hope you bring Fagette on, but please have wardrobe deal with her first.

Tavie said...

Oh my god. Poetry:

She beamed as her dangerous idiosyncrasy was validated and my heart sank as I knew I’d lost her to the world of common sense.

It's like every day is Christmas now. I hope the momentum never wanes. This is all too good.

Geheebers said...

This was her first introduction to democracy in the purest sense. I’m still not sure it works but I’m willing to put it to a vote.
Buddy, you are a caution!
I'm eager to find out how the Portugese boy fared at City Hall. I wonder what he will wear...something ethnic chic, I hope!

BiPolar said...

Buddy wrote: "I bought a sensational pair of orange Capri pants, these boxy patent leather shoes with Cuban heels the exact colour as the Pope's Mahnolo Blahniks and a flaming pink nubbly top from Garganzo".

Buddy are you losing your senses?!?

Roble was teasing your cock waiting for the big tip. Now that's not something you can hide behind in Capri pants.

I adore the daze of your travel delights. Thanks.

Beautifully Chaotic said...

"Shopping for Fagette was impossible. It’s easier to buy uranium for Iran."

LOL yeah kids can be tricky to buy clothes for sometimes!

"He’s probably married. That type always is. I sure wish I got his number. Probably has a little daughter himself. The bastard. …"

Awwww that's too bad! Hopefully you can bump into him again soon!

Jason said...

Nice.

Jason said...

It's good to see the disruptive people have calmed. Buddy, tell scott I said hi if you would be so kind. This is Jason Lockhart....the "adrien brody" looking person that spoke with him on web-o-vision.

Justine said...

I must say, I am really loving all the wonderful art work that is accompanying your blogs.

buddy cole said...

Thank you Justine. I did them myself. I'll tell Scott you said hello Jason.

PsycoticPenguin said...

Another one lost by common sense. How the world is changing. Why, I remember when a guy would shoot himself in the head to impress a gal. Shame.

LLJessR said...

Wait Buddy....

Why don't you write Roble Shabirrap a "missed connection" on Craigslist??

Those are hot...

lastexittominneapolis said...

I love that picture! Mullet scott T. wow, that is funny! now my desktop picture, if you don't mind....do you actually respond to these messages that people leave you (mrbuddycole)? I was searching the internet, cause i'm a loser, and was watching some tom green live show, first time tuning in, I don't know why I havn't before, great stuff. But, anyways I watched the episode where you "scott T" was on talking about how you were on the previous night. Tom gave out your blog...here i am....and a bunch of angry fucks wrote shit about buddy, which, from what I read, was pretty lame and untasteful, but I guess that's the last thing they were going for, was taste. I am ashamed to live under the same atmosphere as those clowns...and i know for a fact, buddy wasn't harmed....

I just wanted to say...i find it amazing, you, kids in the hall, tom green, you on tom green, talking, two canadians, i am not canadian, but sometimes i wish i was...two of some of the biggest influential people in my life! I'm glad to still "see" you around...i know i may not get out much, and know you're around, but its nice to see people together, you and tom, that have something positive to give the world, humility (the good kind, if there is any). Thank you.

P.s. Brain Candy is one of the best movies ever!

p.s.s. possible kids in the hall reunion? insane!

p.s.s.s. how was the monty pythons role in kids in the hall? any role at all? who were your guy's influences? after watching hours of monty, i would say kids in the hall is most like that of any previous material, but not to say you copied...am i missing something?

thanks,
Tim

Anonymous said...

As a straight guy Buddy I can say that you are brilliant. Much better than that Oscar Wilde for sure.

Anonymous said...

Buddy, you are brilliant. You've put Oscar Wilde to shame.