Thursday, January 18, 2007

Into the Breach

I can't put it off any longer. I have to tell you what's been going on. I'm going to be away for a little while but that does not mean that I won't be blog-vigilant. I will be posting regularly from the road using the newest satellite technology. The reason for the visit is muliti-purpose. The part I can tell you about because it directly concerns ewe is that on Saturday if all goes well, I will be snug and secure in my new state of the art production studio deep in the heart of a country I can't name for security reasons.

Well, my worst fears have come true. It appears that Francesca is not alone any longer. She has joined forces with none other than Dr. Robert Young the cosmetics magnate who made billions off of a formula for ashy elbows and knees I scribbled onto a napkin and then sneezed into. Yes, this is the kind of person we're dealing with. A ruthless predator. A shark. Someone who will stop at nothing to get to the top. Someone I would have no understanding of. He's a very mysterious individual, who has never been photographed except one picture of his ear. So that’s not a lot to go on. You ask, “well what did he look like Buddy?” After all you knew him. That’s the thing. I can’t remember. He has this ability if you can call it that where you immediately forget what he looks like the moment you leave him. Even the camera forgot him. It could only remember his ear. That picture was a full on face shot. I took it.

So number one we don't know what we're looking for. Number two, he has vast sums of ill gotten money, Francesca's threat suddenly has some bite. My question is ‘Why’? Why this animosity towards me, someone who has always tried to do good even when evil was all around. The only answer I can give you is simple. They hate beauty. After all it's me who was wronged. I could be sitting pretty right now but all because I had a cold and wouldn't use my sleeve I'm rotting in a third world hellhole accused of a crime I didn't commit. Well, I'm not in an actual third world prison but it feels like it. I should be silent. I’ve said too much. I don't know how far their plans have gone but all we can do is continue to build this wonderful world that is taking shape around us and hope for the best. I'm off. I have to saddle up the horses.


Lana said...

Dr. Young has a perfectly shaped ear so the rest of him can't be too bad.

The word "ashy" cracks me up! Why? I have no idea but if I had to use it in a sentence the sentence would be...

"It all ashy!"

I think that being on the run from Francesca and Dr. Young could turn out to be a whole new venture for you. It could even inspire Buddy Cole to write his own series of those 'Choose Your Own Adventure' children's novels. The possibilities are endless!

Anonymous said...

Ride under cover of darkness Buddy. I fear for your safety.
I have heard of this Dr.Robert Young. I thought it was Beverly Hill
legend but I guess it’s all true. You best watch yourself.
He’ll stop at nothing to please a lover. If Francesca has his ear,
and it sounds like she does, he’ll be hot on your trail.
He’ll even track you via satellite. You’ll have to bounce your
blog cast signal around the world a few times in order to keep him at bay.
Be warned, he has many minions that assist him.

- Alister Honeychurch

BiPolar said...

Buddy, you're saddling up the horses OMG! What next? Riding them? Forget the horses, Buddy, ride the cowboys!

Since the release of "Brokeback Mountain" you're sure to be an easy target.

Apply plenty of lube before you mount up. Happy trails. :)

BiPolar said...

Buddy, I do hope you have some experience with saddling up the horses.

Otherwise, when you place your stiletto to mount up (another benefit of applying lube before you go), you may find yourself riding upside down.

Horses know the saddler is going to try to tighten THAT girth belt real tight. Saddlers must! It holds the saddle firmly in place for the ride.

Here's the secret; There are two steps to follow.

Pull the girth belt snug. Loosely weave it through the cock- ring-like attachments.

Hold the belt firmly in place with your hand and get ready to take a final tug on it.

Knee the horse in the belly (I recommend you tie the horse to a tree before you do this part).

It forces out the breathy air (not gas) the horse has snorted in.

All they want is a looser belt.

It's the opposite of CPR!

buddy cole said...

Will do pilgrim.

Anonymous said...

Going where???? Hmmmmmmm......Mr.Cole is entitled to fab vacations of course....we are just DYING to see the snapshots of them afterwards!!!!!

2fabu4u said...

Buddy, listen, I have seen this ear up close.. I know this ear! I am Fabu, Sex-change Consultant to the Stars. I too have been wronged by this diabolical "man".. yes, that's right.. I met him in his past life as... Roberta. I was unaware of her dark thirst for power. I thought she was just another of Hollywood's elite, changing her sexual identity as to have what we call "the complete life expirience." But I was had. She stole one of my finest pair of jewels. They were priceless, not because of their size, but who they came from. She just broke in to my private collection of man jewels and took the cream of the crop for her own personal gain. Buddy, we may never know the trail of evil left behind by this person or the evil that may lay ahead, so count your blessings and beware.

It's all you,


buddy cole said...

Thank you 2fab for your information. I always thought there was something distinctly female about Dr. Young not that there's anything wrong with that. I feel sorry for the woman. I do. I can't imagine what it must be like to be uncomfortable in one's own body. I have always been a completely contented man. Obviously the condition drove the poor wretch insane. That's the only explanation for stealing someone's man jewels. It's one thing to take a woman's jewels. They always have backup but a man usually doesn't. We have quite a fight ahead of us. Welcome 2fab. We need the man/woman power.

Gin said...

Ooh. I would love to watch you saddle a horse. Ahem.