Wednesday, December 27, 2006

iranian gay wedding

This is a picture of my friend Hadim's gay wedding in Iran. It was very hot. When the mullah pronounced them husband and husband, the trap door opened an they both fell into a gorgeous pool whereupon they took off their clothes down to their speedos amd kissed madly. Suddenly everyone started pushing each other into the pool and before long it was like an orgy. You can't see the pool below them because the American censors cut them. They took my film at the border and then returned them cropped. They don't like anything positive to be shown about the regime. The only bad thing I can say about the wedding is that the whole time I was there, there wasn't a condom in sight. The best part was the caviar. It was like dirt. It's amazing because I know there's a caviar crisis now what with the sturgeon being driven to extinction faster than the sophisticated gay man but somehow those queens got thieir caviar. Now by sophisticated gay men, I don't mean those botoxed ninnies on tv yodelling on about where to put the couch and whether you should highlight or lowlight. I don't care what you do with your hair. Just don't imitate mine which brings me to the real point of this post. Conan O'Brien. That inbred ginger Yankee has stolen my hair. Sure he's always had some lift in his do but recently it's taken off. And it happened right after my appearance on his show. I remembe because I had gone on to plead for the return, safe or otherwise, of my beloved corn cob doll, Cornygirl. Sadly Cornygirl has never returned. There's been no body found so there's always hope. Anyways, I don't know what to do about Conan. We've been friends for years and I've already just ignited a feud with Courtney Cox and Jennifer Aniston, not to mention David Arquette and his sister Alexis. The last thing I want is more bad blood. I'm not going to sue for now but my lawyer is straining at the leash. He smells a lot of money and more importantly, moral vindication for me. Would love your feed back. Buddy.


Orestonio said...

And I thought just plain ties were too tight around ones neck!!!! But diversity of cultures have to be respected!!!We live in a happy world after all!!!!!! One where in dreams I pretend the only Bush's around are types of cute shrubs....Lalalalala!!!!!!

lory said...

aww, buddy. nobody should ever steal someone's hairdo. you look better in that hairdo, anyway, by far! ; )